Failure: An Unknown Friend & A Known Foe – 2

Abey Saale (Euphoria) to Amma, please hodibeda (Mercy Petition) – 120 minutes of madness, a life lesson learnt!

Circa – 1988, Gora Colony (Near Kevadia)

After spending a brief while at the Kevadia camp site, we had moved to our new abode – an independent home @ Gora Colony. Brexit happened in 1947, but we still had enough remnants of the imperial past. Gora Colony was apparently used to house British officers’ way back and had ever since retained the same name. Guess the country was less nationalist then 😊!

Kevadia Camp Site and Gora Colony were connected by a bridge on the River Narmada. It was a sight to see Narmada in full spate during the monsoons. The connectivity with Kevadia would be lost owing to the dangerous water levels along the bridge. We all would walk down from Gora Colony which was at an elevation to the bridge to just catch a glimpse of the gorgeous Narmada. My love and admiration for flowing water started with Narmada. Maybe for the first time I saw a river in full spate and it pleased my eyes and mind. Kudremukha had water written all over it and maybe I was too small to appreciate. Nonetheless, here we were in Gora Colony!

Our new house was more spacious than what we had at the camp site, but nothing compared to Kudremukha. It is human nature to compare, isn’t it 😊. We had Jamun n Mango trees besides our house. This made sure we had some shade around our house. The front of the house opened out to the playground where we all kids would play cricket uninhibitedly. As I look back, the playground was placed right in the middle enabling parents to keep a keen eye on their kids and call them home after their stipulated 60-90 minutes of daily sports.

The best part of the life in a colony is the exposure to heterogenous culture one gets. You had families of different caste, creed or religion, but it never mattered. There was homogeneity and harmony. Those were also the days of Ramanand Sagar’s TV magnum opus “Ramayan” which brought families together into absolute reverence every Sunday. Most of us would end up gathering at anybody’s house with a TV set 😊. Those were the days of not many TVs and just one channel. Holi was played with great fervor and Diwali was a sea of lamps, lights & some firecrackers. Appa & Amma would just get some colors applied on their cheeks, but would let me go and play with my friends. Holi was some experience and I regret having not participated in Holi for the past 2 decades.

Good or bad, life was simpler! Get up early, go to school, come back from school, have lunch, go and play your heart out, have dinner and sleep. This was a routine that I had settled in to. My Hindi had by now picked up and I was doing fairly good for myself in studies. Stability is boring! I have this uncanny habit of digging up a hole for myself, fall deep down, fight hard and emerge out. Guess, I like to learn it the hard way 😊. And am not proud of this either. It is just the way I have experienced life from close quarters.

My written and spoken Hindi were getting better by the day. That helped me bond with my classmates and seniors better. The young impressionable mind was seeking for more. Sometimes you can seek in the wrong direction. In our friendly conversations during the break, I would hear my classmates use swear words in completely hushed tones. Everyone was scared of using them, but still wanted to boast that he knew this or that swear word.

A few swear words (which I understand better now 😊), were out of comprehension then and were tougher to pronounce as well. These were words beyond our age and understanding. We also did not know what the response would be, if we ended up using some of them. So out of fear we all gave them a pass.

But one word caught my imagination. It was used quite frequently between adults in a jovial manner and was easy to pronounce. This word had to be the word that inducted me into the world of Hindi Swear Words. It was “Abey Saale”!

I mastered the use of it over many a hush hush conversation with my friends. Now that the theory was out of the way, I wanted to practice and use this. But I did not know who to use it with. Surely can’t say it loud in the school, can’t use it at home and can’t even use it in the playground with Amma keeping a keen eye on me. Damn, I was in a fix. I needed a vent real soon, lest I burst using it in known environs to my own peril.

One such early evening, I walked past the playground to my friend’s place. We got out of his house, which was beyond the playground. A harmless truck was coming towards us on the road. I could spot the truck and the opportunity. My mind did a quick math. The truck driver was my perfect target 😊. He would care less if some kid of 8 years called him “Abey Saale”. The road was beyond the visual and moral radar of Amma. The time was perfect, early evening, everyone in their house and not a soul on the road. It had to be the truck driver!

Gathering up all the courage that I had, as the truck passed us in slow speed, I yelled “Abey Saale”! The truck driver looked at both of us, gave a hearty laugh and sped away. Harmless, job done – I thought. It felt as though a big burden was off my shoulders. Cricket was more enjoyable that day and I walked back home happy.

As I got in, the look on Amma’s face did not give any indication to what lay in store for me. I walked in, gave her a hug and headed to shower up. Once done, as I came out, there stood Amma. I saw Maa Kaali in her face that day. There was anger written all over her face. Appa was still not home and I knew I had no hiding place. But I was still perplexed, why the anger? Without any further warning, I was taken to task and given a beating that even till today gives me goosebumps 😊. No questions asked, justice delivered with multiple whacks and all I could muster was “Amma, please hodibeda”!

As the onslaught subsided, Amma looked at me straight in the eye and asked me – Will you use “Abey Saale” again? As if I had an option, I said no way 😊.

A big lesson learnt that day – never ever abuse anybody, verbally, physically or emotionally. Abuse is the biggest disrespect you could deliver to an individual. As years have passed by, I have been very careful of my choice of words, even in case of extreme provocation. The best way out is to give abuses no attention and let it pass. I have not reached perfection as yet, but I am better than what I was. And yes, treat everybody around with utmost dignity and respect!

Failure is when you let your mind wander in the wrong direction and act compulsively. It can happen to anybody. To acknowledge that you are at fault or the problem, is the first success you can give to yourself. To then make every attempt to improve is what builds your character.

By the way, you must be wondering on how Amma got to know of my using “Abey Saale”. It was our housemaid who was passing by, had caught me in the act. In the euphoria, I had missed noticing her. Promptly she had informed Amma. I was damn angry with her then, but today I look back at her with utmost gratitude. Thank you!