Failure: An Unknown Friend & A Known Foe - 1 (Hindi – Fail, Pass, Excellence)

Circa – 1987, Gujarat Spinning Mills Limited Public School (GSLPS), Rajpipla, Gujarat

As family: Amma, Appa and I had recently moved to Kevadia, Gujarat from Kudremukh, Karnataka. Appa had chosen to expand his horizons beyond Govt Sector companies that he had served successfully till now. The project in hand to be associated was alluring – Sardar Sarovar Dam and financially rewarding for those times.

It was a huge transition for the entire family, the enormity of that only dawns upon me today. But such were those simpler times, you just packed and moved on to the next destination. Life was possibly simpler, or the people kept it simple.

Kevadia Colony was no Kudremukh by any stretch of imagination then. We moved in during the summer and the extreme heat of the summer surely had me perspiring like never before 😊. I had not broken a sweat in Kudremukh and here I was bathed in it profusely 😊. Obviously, Kevadia Colony was still a camp site and Kudremukh back then was a full-fledged township. How in 30 years and a single lifetime have fortunes changed for both of these places is a testament to the fact “time and circumstances never remain the same”. Kevadia now has the Statue of Unity and Kudremukh has turned into an absolute ghost town!

Newer place meant newer friends. For someone who had not yet picked Hindi fluently, communication was becoming a major hindrance. I would pay heed to how sentences are formed when all the neighborhood aunties would get together for their daily gossips with mom or listening into my newer friends who would playfully tease me for my limited knowledge on Hindi, but yet help me pick it up 😊.

But that was to be least of my worries, as I realized when I got my admission into GSLPS.

GSLPS was the only English Medium school with the CBSE syllabus. It was in Rajpipla, a small town 25 kms away and a good 1 hour journey in those beautiful roads Gujarat had then as well. We would be usually ferried in Trax and as the kids to GSLPS grew in numbers, a bus would ferry us and get us back. The biggest glitch was to get up by 5AM, be ready by 6AM and to get to school before 7:30AM. The return journey was equally arduous. Do also imagine the huge school bags with Class Work and Home Work notes that one had to lug. But life being simple with no distractions, we all just lugged around with no fuss at all!

I had joined the school 2-3 months late and had lot of catching up to do. We had the three language system – Sanskrist (1^st), English (2^nd) and Hindi (3^rd). Gujarati was ruled out as it would have been a very tough bridge to cover. How I miss not having learnt written Gujarati! Before I even realized, it was time for the first monthly tests. We were 13 capable students in the class and each of us vying for the top honors. The tests were done and I thought I had done good. I had aggregated quite well but I had not earnt a rank for myself. Unable to comprehend, I looked at my test booklets and the result sheet again. Alas, I had missed my Hindi Cut-offs by a mark or so. Crestfallen!

In a class of 13 students, there are no places for you to hide. The word spread thick and fast. There were a few compassionate pats on the back in the class, but there were enough and more of child like banter bordering on taunts. Imagine your truly, all of 7 years of age, then a very innocent, shy, introvertish boy amidst this quagmire. I was the only one in the class who had missed the cut off. On that day, I experienced my first failure – Hindi Fail!

I was overwhelmed and the drive back home felt like eternity. The school bag seemed heavier than usual, loaded with the weight of the failure. The failure writ large over my face, I got home to Amma. She was a terror then when it came to pursuit of excellence and continues to be one till date. One thing is to fail and come to terms with it. The tougher aspect is to get your loved ones also to deal with it. In Amma I found both comfort and determination. She gave my lunch, sat me aside and told me in a determined tone “Kiran, This is just a monthly test and you have missed the cut-off by a mark or so. We will need to double up the efforts to ensure there is no repeat of this in the next monthly test. You will have to put in additional effort and I shall stand by to help you come through”.  Appa was his usual comforting self and just asked me to work harder.

I had to now make a choice – to either work hard and come through or give up. There were times, when the fear of failure would catch up and encourage me to give up. The truest character comes through when you fight your inner demons. The one on the outside can be easily defeated. I just chose to work harder. It is in these tough situations, you realize the value of family. The family standing by you and supporting you makes your fight relatively easier.

Needless to state, cometh the next monthly test I secured 3^rd Rank and had marginally cleared the Hindi cut-off. The smile had returned. The classmates who were compassionate cheered and the ones who had given me some banter cheered the loudest. I was now part of the class and no longer an outsider. As months and years passed, I did get better with Hindi and to some extent even aced it. Destiny would have me choose Hindi as my first language over Sanskrit in 8^th class, when I got into Sri RamaKrishna Vidyashala. I would compose proses/poems in Hindi and was the de-facto speaker/orator during 15^th August or College Day Celebrations @ Vidyashala. And yes, my Hindi numbers were way beyond the cut-off 😊.

Your biggest bogey/pitfall can be turned into your strength! You just need to believe and work hard towards it.

Your biggest detractors or critics are your inspiration. Only they can help you grow.

Your family and friends are you biggest supports. Believe in them and help them believe in you.

Most importantly, never ever give up.